Return from the nation of why not

For those of you who were really proud of me for turning off my computer for a whole week, and who are now disappointed because I posted before the week was over...I have a confession to make. The reason I was offline for the past six days was not because of some high-minded purpose, or because my eyes needed a break. No, I have to admit, I kind of made that up. The reason I haven't been online is because husband-dear and I went on a cruise.

Yes, a cruise. And by ourselves too. Just the two of us. Let the record state that we haven't done that since we got married. Or so we think. We're not entirely sure, actually. It's been so long since we went on a trip by ourselves that we really can't remember our last trip together. We actually called it our second honeymoon, and a second honeymoon, of course, does not involve internet (although the fact that it was ridiculously expensive to use played a considerable part as well).

For someone who prides herself on being the eternal critic, I have to admit that for the past six days, I walked around in what could be best described as a daze. A very happy, pink, sun-filled, cloud-free, slightly rocky, daze. And I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, but everything about the cruise was absolutely perfect. We had a beautiful suite, two wonderful ports of call, awesome excursions, excellent pool time, great dinners, several sunny and glorious sea days, and spent the entire six days walking around the ship, wondering how on earth they managed to keep it looking this good (and in case you wondered, yes, they do actually have people who do nothing but windex all the glass on board, and other people still who do nothing else but polish all the silver signs and numbers throughout the ship).

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that in case you're expecting a sarcastic post about how cruises are overrated, a definite waste of money, and a really terrible way to spend your time, I'm going to have to disappoint you. In fact, I should probably warn you that I was planning on spending the next dew days rehashing the entire cruise for your reading pleasure.

But since I know you're probably convinced I can come up with something, I'll end with the one thing that was less than ideal: sea-legs. You know, sea-legs, also known as the ability to walk on a moving vessel without the movement bothering your gait, or shampoo your hair in a windowless bathtub without falling over when the ship decides to pitch from one side to the other.

Anyway, the problem with sea-legs as far as I'm concerned is that, once you've left the ship, it takes your body a day or so to lose them. On board, the slight rocking and jarring didn't bother me at all. We were rocked to sleep every night, and learned to run along the outdoor track as though we were running on trails. Easy as pie. Even when the captain told us they were expecting some rougher waters due to an unfortunate combination of the current wanting to push the ship one way, and the wind wanting to push it the other, I barely noticed anything. The only times we noticed that the ship was rocking a little more than usual was when open cabinet doors started closing on their own, and when we joined a spinning class, and cycling uphill was a lot harder when the bow came down. But ever since I got off board this morning, my body has just been, well, confused. I have a wave in my step that just doesn't seem to agree with the solidity of the earth, and my body keeps correcting for nonexistent rolling.

I actually think it might be possible that I'm suffering from land-sickness. Do you think ginger ale would help cure that?